


[58]

by eunwol



Series: things you said [1]
Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Universe, Hidden Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 00:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunwol/pseuds/eunwol
Summary: like a lion whose keeper left the cage door open, scared to be freehe hates himself for not running





	[58]

**Author's Note:**

> prompt 58: things you were afraid to say

_**[18:47:20]** i wish we could run away._

Sometimes living your dream doesn't mean your life is perfect. There's the constant weight of their schedules dictating every second of their lives; the explosive arguments in the dorms between members at one in the morning; the diets thinning both their bodies and patience; the dance practices that last for hours, leaving them sore and bitter and tired with every mistake.

And then there's the scandals.

Joonmyun isn't blind and neither is Yoongi. This is the world they live in, the world they chose. They both understand that what they want is too much of a fantasy. And he knows neither of them would give up those years spent fighting for their success.

What they have is already dangerous enough.

But he's still selfish in his quietest moments. He considers it more than he should, dropping SM and asking Yoongi to do the same with BigHit, even though he knows he'd never-- BTS is more than just a group to Yoongi. It's his family.

It's not like EXO isn't worth anything to Joonmyun either. He'd die for his boys, has gone through thick and thin with them at his side. They mean so much to him, but:

But Yoongi's more important.

_**[18:47:56]** i wish i could see you again._

On days like these, where the yelling escalates too much and a walk by the cold riverside is too tempting to ignore, Joonmyun thinks about their future and how it might all fall apart.

Yoongi shouldn't be tied down like this.

He deserves someone better than _this_. In his mind he pictures a girl with a bright smile, small hands, the tentative brush of hair behind her ear. Sometimes it's a boy who bounces around and knows Yoongi well enough to drag him out of his shell. Someone less selfish. Someone who can find the most positive parts of what they have.

Someone who's not afraid.

Joonmyun thinks of simple texts sent between days of busy interviews and flights, selfies and voice memos exchanged in the early hours of the morning, quick kisses in the changing rooms and bathrooms, the rumors, the tours, the lights, the cheers, the feel of Yoongi's back as he pats soothing words before he goes up to that award stage, seeing his hands trembling but despite it all, still thrumming with love.

It's enough.

It has to be.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this and just wanna talk to me abt kpop, feel free to follow my twt @howlcore


End file.
